TAME THE DARKNESS INSIDE YOU
By Apoorva Purohit
Darkness is a part of your mind that makes you focus more on the negative emotions like fear, anger, hatred and detachment rather than the positive emotions like love, care, forgiveness and tolerance. It is present in everyone, but some people have more darkness than the others based on their personality types and life experiences. Generally, it is seen that the people who keep their emotions bottled up are more vulnerable to such negative energies as any traumatic incident impacts them much more deeply than the other personalities. Talking helps in calming the negative forces of mind, but it is also important to understand that not everyone is comfortable sharing their feelings with other people. These dark forces are tamed in most of the people around us, but some people allow this darkness to run their lives.
How to know if the darkness inside you is taking over your life? If you feel emptiness and lack of purpose, or if you are incapable of loving your family/friends, or if you feel like running away from the people around you, or if you find yourself getting angry on small things, then it is time to understand that the negativity inside you needs to be calmed. If you choose to live in denial, then it can permanently strain your relationship with your family, friends and coworkers, and can make you do things that you might regret for the rest of your lives. But you should know that it is never too late and this darkness can be tamed by the following ten ways:
1. Medication and psychotherapy
Consult a psychiatrist (for medication) and a psychologist (for psychotherapy), as both treatments are equally important. A psychiatrist will prescribe you the medication to control your depression, anxiety or anger issues. Don’t avoid medication as it has proven to be extremely efficient in controlling the monsters inside you. A psychologist will assist you in your self-introspection journey to understand the origin and the triggers of the darkness inside you. He will not judge you, so be truly honest about the incidents from your past that have triggered high intensity of fear, anger or loneliness. These incidents depend from person to person and may include bullying, abuse, death, betrayal, sexual assault, dysfunctional family, or health disorders. Such traumatic experiences (especially at an early age) can make you cynical about life and the people around you. During this self-exploration journey through the psychotherapy sessions, you will come across many aspects and traits about yourself that you were completely unaware of. Ultimately, these sessions will help you in moving on from your negative past experiences and the darkness they brought into your life.
2. Changes in daily routine
Adopt the habit of “Early to bed and early to rise,” as it will increase your positive energy levels. For many people, the time of the day when they feel the most negativity inside them is the evening. So, reserve that time for spending with family/friends or engaging in some sort of physical activity outside your house. You can jog or walk in some park, or play an outdoor sport, or even go to the market and buy some groceries. Try not to spend the evening time alone inside your house as your mind will focus more on the negative emotions like fear, anger and hatred at this time. If you have the required stamina, then high intensity exercises like kickboxing or weight lifting can be very useful to get your negativity out in the right way so that you can spend the remaining day with a positive attitude.
3. Yoga and meditation
Practicing yoga and meditation every day is a must for all people who have high negative energies inside them. Yoga and meditation are the keys to psychological and emotional healing, and will help you in cultivating a more nonjudgmental relationship with yourself and the people around you. “Pranayama (Bhramari and Anulom-Vilom),” “Garudasana,” “Uttanasana,” “Salamba Sarvangasana,” “Matsyasana,” “Vrksasana,” and “Balasana” yoga positions can be very useful in improving the overall mental health. They also give you the strength to forgive the past, and the self-confidence to calmly handle tough situations without getting scared or angry.
4. One day at a time only
Adopt the philosophy of “One day at a time.” Yesterday has brought this darkness in you and the fear of future makes this darkness grow inside you. Thus, the best way to live life is to focus only on making today a fruitful and happy day. When you wake up in the morning, think about all the constructive things that you plan to do today, and throughout the day focus your energies on achieving those goals. While sleeping at night feel proud of your efforts and achievements, and appreciate the strength inside you.
5. Focus on work/studies and a creative hobby
Put most of your daily energy into your work or studies and set ambitious career goals for yourself. “An idle mind is a devil’s workshop,” so keep yourself busy and work on things passionately. Soon you will see that your positive energies and self-confidence will grow. Also, make sure that you spend some time on a creative hobby that makes you feel good about life. There is at least one such hobby in everyone’s life that makes them forget their fears, pains and troubles, like watching movies, playing sports, writing, dancing, singing, cooking, etc. Do not neglect this hobby because it will keep your mind calm.
Motivate yourself whenever any person or situation triggers fear, anger or hatred in you. Tell yourself that this emotion is only because of some past traumatic events, and you don’t want those events to control your life anymore. Take charge of your emotions and actions as now you are safe and strong. If there are some people around you, who always try to put you down, develop a thick skin towards them and don’t take their comments seriously. Just remember that you were, you are and you will always be a very special person, no matter what others think.
7. Let the light come in
Do not cut yourself off from the outside world as it will increase the negative forces inside you. Try to sit, work and sleep near the doors and windows so that you always have a contact with the outside world and the nature around you. This way, whenever your mind will try to push you towards darkness, the surroundings will pull you back into the real life right away. Also, make it a habit to smile and greet the people around you, and soon you will realize that all people are not the same, many of them can be trusted. It is all right to take your time before befriending someone.
8. Stop substance abuse
People with darkness often try to numb themselves using alcohol or drugs. But these addictions will only make life worse and take you on a much darker path than before. In long-term, it will increase the feelings of emptiness, rage, fear, hatred, pain and lack of purpose. Thus, stop substance abuse and cleanse your system by checking into a rehab right away.
9. Take a vacation
Take an affordable vacation as it will expose you to new people, cultures, and lifestyles, which will help you to develop a new enriched perspective on life and people. Travelling will also give you an opportunity to get away from the outer voices and focus on your inner self.
10. Look around you
There are many people around you who do not have money, food, house and family. There are also many people around you who have been victims of traumatic events like bullying, abuse, sexual harassment, etc. So, it is important to know that you are not the only hurt person. Some people have been wounded much more deeply than you, but they have shown the strength to forgive and move on in their lives without getting cynical. By taking inspiration from the people around you, you can overcome your darkness and follow the path that leads you and others like you towards light.
Spirituality is also a way to get rid of the dark energies inside you as it gives purpose to your life. However, belief in a superpower is a personal choice and should not be forced. The above ways will help you in taming the monsters inside you, and as a result you will be able to live a happy and fruitful life.
About the Author:
Apoorva Purohit is a researcher in the field of molecular simulation of biomolecules and materials. She has a passion for creative writing and is currently working on her poetry book. She says that she is a private person and writing is a very important part of her life as it gives her an opportunity to experience different personalities and their journeys.