I was never picked first during recess. The girls never put my name on their kiss list. My siblings were all older than me, so we never had a real connection. Hell, my parents even forgot to pick him up every Thursday from my robotics club meetings. Literally every Thursday at the same time. I was invisible to everyone except Isabella. Izzy has been my best friend since kindergarten. Her parents came to get me when my parents were too busy with God knows what. She always asked me to join her team during recess. I may have never gotten on a kiss list, but she did put me on her best buds list.
Of course, going into sophomore year of high school I expected my presence to be microscopic, because that’s what I’m used to. Though, over the summer I did start working out to play on the basketball team and I did.
We both stepped out the car, and I immediately felt eyes on me and heard whispers all around me.
“Who’s Izzy with?”
“Is he new?”
“Is that Ryan?”
“Does Izzy have a boyfriend?”
I did an awkward shuffle towards the front of the school with Izzy following close behind me. Why were they all staring? Is there a stain on my shirt? Is there a memo I missed?
“Ok I know it wasn’t that interesting, but you can pretend to listen,” Izzy said.
“Oh, sorry I’m just thinking, was it just me or was everyone staring and talking about us?” said Ryan.
“I didn’t notice anyone.” She said while shrugging her shoulders.
This continued for the next few weeks and progressively more and more people started to hang out with me, with no catch just because they wanted to. I started to neglect Izzy, I went from riding with Izzy every morning to riding with different people every day and from talking to Izzy daily to only once a week if she was lucky. Being seen was a nice change of pace and I got too comfortable.
After a few weeks went by I invited Izzy to speak with me at the park, she reluctantly agreed. I didn’t want to admit it, but I missed her.
It was dark out, but you could still see the clouds in the sky. The park illuminated by all the streetlights. We stood under a singular light by the baseball field, the park was empty. I looked at her with a slight grin.
“Why did you call me here we haven’t spoken in weeks,” said Izzy.
“That’s why I called you here I miss you I want my friend back”
“What about all of your new friends you made it very clear you don’t need or want me around anymore.”
“That’s not true”
“But it is, and that’s ok you don’t need me around anymore we’ve just grown apart and I’ll always love you but right now our puzzle pieces don’t fit together maybe one day well align again but right now isn’t that time.”
I felt my face flush red and balled my fist, it felt like I was trying to swallow a hand full of saltine crackers with no water. I tried to speak but I just stood there with my mouth open like an idiot. She began to walk away, and I hoped for her to at least look back, or to at least tell me she didn’t mean it. But she never did and just kept walking.
Alexandria is a Florida raised writer. She became a writer to help manage her creativity. When she’s free she spends time with her loved ones.