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ADELAIDE Independent Bimonthly Literary Magazine / Revista Literária Independente Bimensal, New York / Lisboa, Online Edition  

 




 

 



 

 

 

 

 

GROUND LEVEL
By Gabby Shaulis

 

 

 

 

 

Ground Level


Who saw the black of the night in which I sat?
Who felt the tears stain my cheeks?
Who felt my body seize as tried to find control?
No one.
I was the only one to hear my muffled screams.
Only I know what that mess of pills look like as I lined them up.
Blue, orange, white. Blue, orange, white.
It was just me talking out loud to a god that I wasn’t sure if I could believe in like that.
Too much, too raw.
Thoughts poured out of me and onto the floor.
I laid in the fetal position in a puddle of my self-hate.
You do not get to say that you are there for me.
You were not there; you did not see it.
You did not help when that great black cloak wrapped me up.
My victory in the battle of that dark night has nothing to do with you.
Get off your high horse and look at things from the ground.
Feel what it is like to put back all the pieces from the bottom up.

 

 

 

 

 

Robbed


forget your words
forget your voice
forget everything you’ve made me feel
delete the pictures
burn the papers
wash my sheets
but I can’t erase the memory of your fingerprints on my skin
I see you in my dreams
I wish they were nightmares but instead
you tell me it was a mistake and that you’re sorry
I can’t will the dreams away
I can’t will you away
love is floating on a raft in a river of needles when you don’t know how to swim
love is skydiving with no parachute and hoping there’s a cushion at the bottom
my raft popped, the cushion disappeared
and now…emptiness

 

 

 

 

 

Blank Slate


Your heart feels a little heavier today
I say “Here you go, have some of mine to lighten up”
You don’t say thank you, you ask for more.
Your brain lost a piece of confidence today
I say “Here you go, have some of mine”
You don’t say thank you, you ask for more.
Your body didn’t have enough energy today
I say “Here you go, have some of mine”
You don’t say thank you, you ask for more.
I give until I have nothing left,
But then you say you can’t stay,
For you “can’t love a girl made of nothing”

 

 

 

 

 

About the Author:

gabby

Gabby Shaulis is a sophomore biology major at the University of Pittsburgh. She plays the clarinet and loves music of any kind, as well as animals. She hopes to someday be the proud mother of many dogs and cats.

 




 




 

 

 

     
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