A SORROWFUL SOUL

The old woman had a habit of going out on the porch of her house early in the morning to watch the sunrise and the sunflower field stretching along her land. Sitting on the worn down by time, wooden chair, she reflected that this was the eighty-second summer of her life. And that thought brought her both joy and sadness - joy because she had lived a long life, but sadness because she had seen much and some of what she went through was painful.

She loved watching the sunrise and could never get enough of the impressive spectacle of nature, admiring the sun as it rose majestically, bringing light and beauty to everything. Most of all, she adored the play of sunlight among the sunflower fields. She gazed at the contrast of colors - from the blue of the sky, to the yellow of the flowers and the vivid green of the grass, everything seemed incredibly beautiful to her. Those were her most cherished moments of the day. But sometimes, the mornings brought her something extremely mournful, filling her with deep grief. One of her daughters, named Cătălina, who was fifty years old and lived nearby, would come to the well in front of her mother’s house to fetch drinking water, as it was the best spring in the area. But whenever she saw her, Cătălina would turn her back on her with hostility, not even willing to face her. This gesture had been repeating for a long time, and it left the old woman heartbroken every time she saw her daughter turn away. There had been days when she had called out to Cătălina, even begged her to speak to her. Once, Cătălina had angrily shouted back:

— Why do you even want to talk to me after you took the land and gave it to Sanda…

But ever since she had shouted those harsh words, a long time had passed, and now there was only deep silence and the same complete disdain. The old woman would sit on the porch, sorrowfully watching her daughter walk away. Since childhood, Cătălina had been more stubborn than her other children. Had she perhaps treated her more harshly? Out of the eight children she had, only two daughters still lived nearby. The other six were far away in England, visiting her only occasionally during holidays.

However, the old woman kept thinking that maybe she had wronged Cătălina and wished things had turned out differently. Still, everything was in the past, and nothing could be undone. At least with Sanda, her other daughter, she was content, as she respected her and took care of her. But her great sorrow was Cătălina, and how much she wished they could make peace - yet it seemed impossible. She often recalled how things had evolved toward that conflict. Oh, if only Toader, her husband, were still alive! Only he could have solved it all, for he had been a very authoritative man. And because of that, their four sons and four daughters had respected and obeyed him. She, as their mother, had not scolded them much but had tried to offer maternal love so they would understand that in their home, there was not only the harshness of Toader.

She could still see in her mind how Cătălina’s first husband had fallen ill with cancer and died years ago, leaving her with two children. Then Cătălina had remarried a very strange man whom the old woman had never liked. Although at first, this man, named Doru, had behaved well with everyone, in time, he had shown his true nature: a cunning and mean person. Doru was a fifty-year-old man, short, bald, with small eyes and a sly look with which he always sought to deceive and steal from people. He had conflicts wherever he worked, doing various masonry jobs, though at times he pretended to be generous. But it was all an act, she understood him very well and realized that this marriage did not bring any benefit to her daughter.

After they got married, both came to her, convincing her with all sorts of arguments to commit to give them her house and her fifty ares of land, in exchange for lifelog support in later years. At first, things went somewhat good, but soon after, Doru brought five large pigs which he kept in a enclosure on her property, asking her to feed them every day. Then Doru began acting like a true ruler of her yard. He even collected her two-thousand-lei pension, claiming it was because they were caring for her. Sometimes they brought her food, other times not, but every month, Doru confiscated her pension. What annoyed her the most were the pigs, because they squealed terribly and she had to feed them when Cătălina or Doru didn’t show up, which sometimes meant letting her a day or two on her own. And Doru would sometimes accuse her of not taking good care of the pigs. She could no longer endure all that torment, and, advised by Sanda, she revoked Cătălina’s property documents.

That’s why on some mornings, while enjoying the grandeur of the sunrise and the beauty of the sunflowers, she would experience that terrible scene where Cătălina turned her back on her with hatred. Was she forever condemned to endure that terrible spectacle until her last breath? Moreover, she noticed that Cătălina wasn’t speaking to Sanda either, which deeply saddened her. There were born only two years apart, and she had always hoped to see them live in harmony like good sisters. Soon she would descend into the world of the dead, alongside Toader. And would her two daughters go on living this way?

All these things pained the old woman, and she felt utterly powerless to fix anything anymore. But one morning came when the old woman had the firm feeling that something was about to happen. She saw Cătălina coming to the well and turning her back once more. But this time, she couldn’t hold back and called out:

— Cătălina, my dear…

There was no reply. She called again, but still no answer. Then a deep sorrow seized her soul, she began trembling from nervous agitation, and something broke inside her chest. Collapsing off the chair onto the porch with a groan, she barely managed to catch sight of Cătălina carrying her bucket of water while walking away on the winding path through the grass. And then, with one last glance, she saw the sun and the sunflowers, which all seemed to smile at her and beckon her to run, as she had done when she was a child playing with other kids in the stubble fields. After that, all perception of the world around her and every thought in her mind faded away…

Translated from Romanian into English by Gabriela Căluțiu Sonnenberg

Eugen Oniscu: born on August 10, 1972, in Tulcea, Romania. I am a prose writer, specializing in novellas, short stories, and essays. From an early age, I was passionate about reading, and during my adolescence, the desire to write took root in my soul. I began writing in my youth, constantly seeking to learn more about the art of writing. I have been living in the diaspora for nearly twenty years. I spent thirteen years in Spain, and now I reside in Berlin, Germany, where I work and write in my free time. My works are usually published in magazines such as Armonii Culturale, Boema, and the website Resurse Creștine, among others. In 2020, Armonii Culturale Publishing House published my book of novellas and short stories, Mesagerul (The Messenger). In April 2021, I published an electronic novella in German with Epubli Publishing House in Berlin, titled Über die Enttäuschungen des Lebens (Beyond Life's Disappointments). Additionally, in 2021, I participated in the literary anthology Primăvara se numără prozele (Spring Counts the Prose), organized by Inspirescu Publishing House in Pitești, and in the literary project Milenarium, organized by Armonii Culturale Publishing House. In September 2022, I contributed two short stories to an anthology organized by Globart Universum Publishing House. In 2023, at LED FORCE Publishing House in Iași, coordinated by Cristian Arsenoi, I published my first multimedia e-book titled Puterea celor slabi (The Power of the Weak). Then, in February 2024, I published another electronic novella with LED FORCE, titled Inima Străinului (The Stranger’s Heart). In April 2024, at the same publishing house, I published a short prose collection, Lumea suferinzilor (The World of the Sufferers), consisting of texts written over several years. Also, in 2024, I published a collection of Christian-themed short stories, Între lumină și întuneric (Between Light and Darkness), at the same publishing house.