TETHERED TO THE WRECKAGE

Chilled air envelops my skin and seeps into my lungs. Crickets sing all around me. As I open my eyes, A ringing in my ears grows louder. My brain pulses inside my skull like it is about to burst. The world is a blur around me. I am only able to make out the disfigured shape of trees in front of me illuminated by my headlights in the darkness. Liquid drips down from my head into my eyes. I wipe at my forehead revealing bright red blood on my hand. A dull panic washes over me, urging me to get out.

My seatbelt releases easily, and I reach for the car door. Broken glass pierces my skin as I struggle to pull myself out. Once I am upright, leaning against the side of my mother’s now destroyed car, the ringing and pulsing in my head intensifies. A familiar feeling comes over me. Pressure in my stomach bubbling up into my throat. My upper body hinges over my legs puking out a thin red liquid. At first, I thought it was more blood, but my mouth tastes sour like cranberry juice and vodka.

Through my hazy sight, streetlights shine over the abandoned road just a few yards in front of me. I try to move my legs, but they buckle, and my palms hit the hard wet ground. Every piece of me wants to give in to the exhaustion and rest my head on the grass, but I won’t. I reach for the ground in front of me, pulling the weight of my body forward, and then I reach again, and again, until I feel the rough pavement against my cheek.

The ground rumbles beneath me. Through the piercing sound in my head, I hear a car approaching, the slam of a door, and hustled footsteps. I lift my face from the ground, to see the figure of a man standing over me. He yells, but I can’t make out what he is saying.

I finally make out the words “Are you okay?” and pull myself to my knees, sitting on the tops of my feet.

“Yes, I am okay,” I say.

“Was there anyone else in the car?” he asks.

At that moment, the world came back to life. Suddenly, I felt and saw everything. The pool of blood staining the pavement under my legs, the tire tracks carved into the moist grassy ground, and the image of my sister in the passenger seat screaming at me to pull over.

Adrenaline shoots through my veins like an electric shock. I stand on my feet and cry, “My sister! My sister, Rachel!” I turn and scream into the night, “Rachel! Rachel!” The man joins in my calls. We frantically search the area but find no trace of her.

“Maybe she went for help,” the man says.

“She wouldn’t have left me here!” I replied.

It’s true, she wouldn’t have left me there. I wouldn't blame her if she had, but no matter what trouble I get into, she has never left me alone.

“I killed my sister,” I say, sobbing through my hands. “I killed my little sister!” Through my fingers a figure emerges under the streetlights back down the road. Could it be?

“Rachel?” I scream.

“Jess?” she yells back.

“Rachel! Thank god!” I run to her, stumbling over the long grass, and face planting into the ground.

From the distance she yells, “You left me! I can’t believe you left me on the side of the road!”

Now, it all comes back. I had answered her pleas begging me to pull over, but only she got out of the car, and I left her.

As she gets closer, she gasps, finally noticing the wreck. She rushes over to me, the anger drained from her body and turned into action, like a natural reflex.

She calmly crouches down next to me, wiping blood from my forehead with the sleeve of her shirt. She helps me up and guides me into the man’s truck, while he paces the road on the phone with a 911 operator. She sits silently beside me, and I rest my head on her shoulder.

“Do you hate me?” I ask.

For a moment she says nothing.

“I hate me,” I say, cutting into the silence. “It’s okay if you do. I’m done, Rachel, I am going to get help.”

She takes a deep breath, and all she says is, “I love you.”

Though strained, I know it was sincere. I close my eyes and drift to sleep.

Cat Loupessis moved from Upstate New York to sunny Florida in 2019. She graduated from Rollins College in 2023 and continued her education at Full Sail University where she received a certificate in Media Communications. You can find her on instagram @catherineloupessis.