WASHED IN ANXIETY

A shrill sound suddenly cut through the chatter in the wash house. I startled, the sound leaving a ringing noise in my ears.

“Mama, look! It’s Silvie!” I felt a pair of small arms wrap around my knees, and I looked down.

A cold sweat broke out across my forehead as I stared down into a pair of wide, adoring eyes peering up at me from the chubby face of a 4-year-old girl. Relax. There is no need to get nervous. She’s just a little girl. Despite trying to calm myself down, I felt a wave of anxiety starting to rise inside me. A woman with mousy brown hair rushed forward and pulled her daughter away from me.

“I’m so sorry, miss. I hope my daughter hasn’t caused you any problems,” she said, glancing at me nervously.

I dismissed her apology with a shake of my head.

“Of course she caused her problems!” a black-haired woman snapped from across the room, near the fireplace. “The child ran at her out of nowhere!”

“No. She’s fine,” My voice came out in a croaky whisper. Embarrassment weaved through my anxiety like a warm current weaving through icy waters. My nostrils flared as I drew in a deep breath, the floral-fruity scent of the washing detergent coating the back of my throat like bitter medicine.

“What’s wrong, dearie?” asked a burly woman of middle age walking up to us, the fatty lines of her face etched with concern. “Are you feeling well? You do look so pale.”

The women gathered inside the wash house all dropped their clothing into the metal tubs full of hot water, their attention now on the four of us: the mousy-haired woman and her child, the burly woman and me, trembling at the fact that so many people were now watching me. A sense of fight or flight took over me as my inner voice screamed at me to leave. But I stood frozen, the blood in my veins turning cold as my heartbeat grew rapidly inside my chest. Nausea churned in my stomach, my breakfast threatening to splatter on the floor beneath me. The fireplace's heat and humidity pressed in on me as black spots danced in front of my eyes. I felt myself falling as darkness took over me.

“My gods!” a woman shrieked.

“What happened? Why did she suddenly faint?”

“What should we do?”

“Call for a doctor!”

“Right! I’ll be back with him soon!”

A pair of footsteps faded into the distance as their voices waned in my ears, and I lost consciousness.

***

An odious smell stung at my nose, and I jerked awake, the bright afternoon sunlight nearly blinding me. I blinked up at the dingy ceiling of the wash house until a man with vivid green hair and eyes leaned over me.

“You’ve finally awoken. Thank be to Vermillion,” he said with a faint chuckle.

I gazed at him in confusion, wondering why I was lying on the hard floor in the middle of a wash house. Dr. Stoan helped me sit up as the mousy-haired woman stepped forward, her daughter clutching at her skirts.

“Are you alright, miss?” the girl asked, her voice small.

I smiled reassuringly at her and nodded. “I’m fine. I just let my nerves take over me to the point I fainted. There’s no need to worry about me.”

“No need to worry!” the black-haired woman roared; her face red with anger. “You fainted, nearly scaring us all to death! That child was in tears thinking that she hurt you!”

Shame washed through me, and I lowered my head, fighting back the tears threatening to overtake me. I carefully reined in my emotions and stood up. Dr. Stoan helped me and kept a hand on my elbow to keep me steady. I looked up at the women around me, my face expressionless. I curtsied to them politely.

“I’m sorry to disturb and worry you over naught. I hope that the rest of your day will be uneventful.”

I turned away and walked out of the wash house and down the steps to the cobbled road below. Angry voices could be heard over the noise of the street outside.

“Mother! How can you be so rude to a lady?”

“She was rude first, fainting in the middle of a wash house like that! She could have hit her head on one of these metal tubs or, worse, fallen off the side of the platform and drowned in the river! What would you do if that happened?”

“Call for a knight! You can’t just go around scolding people, especially the nobles! Who knows what she could have done to you if she got angry?”

I sighed and took hold of Dr. Stoan’s hand as I climbed inside the coach. I settled back into the bench and lay my head back on the seat, watching the bustling of the crowd outside the carriage as he instructed the coachman to take us back to the palace.

“She's right, you know,” he said as he settled into the bench across from me with a tired groan. “There could have been serious consequences if you injured yourself or fell into the river.”

I opened my eyes and peeked at him through my eyelashes. “I know. I only wanted to observe what the wash house was like and compare it to the ones back home. I’d never thought a little girl would be there and all of that would happen, all because of my anxiety.”

“Perhaps you should take someone with you the next time you go.”

“Perhaps I should.”

Dr. Stoan chuckled at my answer, and I grinned back at him.

“You should get some rest on the way back to the palace. You still look a bit pale. I want you to come to the infirmary once we’re back, I want to give you a checkup just to ease my worries,” he said.

Yolanda W. West comes from the Cornhusker State of Nebraska. She is currently studying creative writing at Full Sail University. When she’s not writing, she can be found reading a good book, watching anime, movies, or TV series/shows, or playing games on mobile, PC, and PlayStation 5 console. Follow her on Facebook @Yolanda W. West.