WHO’S THE CLOWN?
ALM No.94, October 2026
SHORT STORIES
“Nice to finally meet you,” he says, a large smile gracing his face. His hair was in a big puff, sporting every color of the rainbow. He wore giant, bright red shoes that squeaked when he walked.
She smiled back to him, her stomach twisting.
He went in for a hug and she tensed up a bit, but ultimately allowed it.
She felt nervous as they walked down the street. Nervous, because it had been a while since she’d gone out on an actual date with someone. Surely this was how they all went? This was how she was meant to feel?
“Oh, by the way, I got you something.” He stopped walking and dug in his back pocket, pulling out a fake, cartoonish bouquet of flowers.
She chuckled softly and accepted the flowers, even humoring him by taking a sniff of one of the buds. It didn’t smell like flowers; it smelled like back pocket.
The final straw came during dinner. She had a crumb on her lower lip so he reached for the handkerchief in the front of his jacket, proceeding to pull out endless handkerchiefs of different colors all attached to one another at their corners.
He leaned across the table and wiped the food from her lip. People had begun staring. After that, she told him she wasn’t feeling well and went home early. There was no second date.
It took her some time after that to warm up to dating again, but she thought she’d found one this time. She finally found a good guy. He liked all the same things she liked, even the niche, embarrassing things she didn’t make a habit of telling to people she’d just started talking to. She happily agreed to a date.
Upon meeting her date, she was thrilled to see he had normal colored hair and normal shoes that made only normal footstep sounds when he walked. He didn’t try to hug her, and she was okay with that.
They had a wonderful night. They got food, did karaoke together, he even bought her a few drinks.
Only towards the end of the night did the red flags appear. At one point he left to use the bathroom, and she could swear that he returned with a goofy, red smile painted on his face. But the lights were dim in the bar, and she was a bit tipsy herself, so she was probably overthinking it. He bought them both a beer and she accepted it graciously.
Slowly, she started seeing more. His face turned white, his cheeks were dusted with two, bright pink circles of blush, and he’d put on a big red nose. She tried not to judge. He asked her if he could kiss her, and she said yes.
As they said goodbye, she turned to watch him leave and somehow, he was riding away from her on a unicycle.
She could ignore it. It wasn’t that big of a deal. She could overlook the silly makeup and the unconventional means of transportation. And she intended on doing so.
Upon arriving home, she threw her purse on the couch and ripped her boots off before retreating into the bathroom, pausing when she noticed the bright red face paint smeared across her lips.
She sighed and pulled out her phone. ‘I had a nice time tonight,’ she wrote, even including a smiley-face emoticon at the end. She took a deep breath and looked in the mirror again, forcing herself to smile.
Only, less than two weeks after their first date, she received a text from him; ‘I don’t think things are going to work out between us.’
Where did that come from? She couldn’t help but think it was her. Was it what I was wearing? Was it too revealing? Did I embarrass myself doing karaoke? Did I have one too many drinks say something weird?
This went on for a while. She continued to analyze every little thing she did that night to try and determine just what made him not want her anymore.
She talked to her friends. They all told her she dodged a bullet. They all told her that she wouldn’t want to date a clown anyway.
Then she realized; it wasn’t her. It was never anything she did. He was simply… a clown.
From that moment on, she saw clowns everywhere she went. Normal men with normal hair and normal clothes and normal noses became few and far between. She hoped one day she would find one of those. For now, she was content with watching from afar as they gifted back-pocket flowers and infinite handkerchief chains to other women.
Jessa Lily Weber is a 22-year-old creative writing student at Full Sail University in Winter Park, Florida and a team member at Universal’s Epic Universe theme park in Orlando. She has been reading and writing stories and since she was young and has always been enamored with writing, film, television, and all things creative.
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