| RUBY THROAT By Jessica Sabo ruby throat sit down she says make yourself comfortable put the napkin in your lap / keep your hands folded / sit up straight she says cross your ankles lift your chin act like you are interested I don’t like sitting / I have too much energy I say my foot shakes under the table a hummingbird beats its wings inside my chest and I feel like I can’t breathe my lungs are concrete I am swallowing dust / my tongue is caught in quicksand pick up that fork she says sit up straight wipe your mouth don’t move too quickly, you’ll seem anxious she says don’t you dare take seconds remember these things my lips are sewn shut and my toes curl I am staring at the fork my brow is sweating it is askew and a tick betrays my body I am counting the minutes of the clock my eyelids twitch / the bird is inside my brain now she is manic, stinging me with her beak like a spinal tap to my meninges I grip my thighs under the table I won’t tell you again she says she points to the fork there are people in this word who are starving she says stop wasting my time look at me when I am talking to you / lift your chin / stop shaking your boot what is your excuse I am sorry I say look at all of them she says look at their bones they are an army / battle ready / aiming fire rings of soot around their eyes as they hurl their meat through murder holes and claim the bodies left behind who the fuck are you? my shoulders are uneven I say I am one of those bodies that needs looking after I taught you better she says CradlesongI remember the crack of your tongue against the floor. The whiplash reminding me of how you’d shut me up so hard that my body would turn inside out. Monsters crawling inside your closet, through the walls, inside the bathtub drain, and they were coming for you again. I told you to rise, run faster. I was never any good at saving you. Even now, my knuckles are embedded in your wet marrow- fish-hooks into wired bone that cling to your muted voice. The last night we spoke, I heard your demon whisper to me across the static- how to hunt you in the dark, how to find you by scent. When you finally freed your bones, I was there to remind you of how they still belong to me. About the Author:  Jessica Sabo is a freelance writer and artist currently living in Orlando with her wife and two rescue pups. She is an LGBTQ+ advocate, an ardent supporter of the performing arts, and aspires to publish poems on topics related to eating disorders and other mental illnesses in order to promote awareness within the community. Her work can be found in the annual literary magazine, ChannelMarker. |