Joe couldn’t tell what time it was. He had been in here (the hospital?) for a couple of days now. There are no windows. The lack of sunlight has troubled him, the static coming from the TV when he turns it on grates on every one of his last nerves, he’s gotta piss in a cup, but hey at least the nurse is blonde with a nice set of big blue eyes. That scent. She smells like my ex-wife.
Joe ‘s train of thought is interrupted as the nurse stabs the IV drip into his arm. “You motherless cunt!” He chokes out. “Oh sorry!” she said. She goes in for a second time, but as she’s about to jam the IV drip again, two men wearing cheap looking suits barge in, startling the nurse and she ends up jamming the IV drip into his muscle. One of the men is tall, lanky, and as bald as a baby, the other is shorty and stocky, his hair covering his eyes like curtains “Lord take me now!” Joe said. Tears start clouding his vision. The nurse finally inserts the IV drip into Joe’s bulging vein. The nurse sighs, wiping the sweat from her forehead. “He’s just woken up. The nurse proceeds to whisper to the two men. “He seems irate.” she said. “He needs to rest so don’t take too long”. The nurse leaves the room.
As soon as the door closes the two men approach Joe who is still moaning in pain. “Nice to see you awake sunshine” says the tall lanky bean pole. “I’m FBI agent Carter and this is my partner agent Lauer” he said. Agent Lauer detaches his lips from his flash that has a sticker that reads “Female Body Inspector”, “How ya doin?” he says as alcohol dribbles down his chin and onto his button up shirt. Agent Carter sits on the end of the bed. “Now that we got the small talk out of the way, we’re going to need you to answer some questions for us. Can you do that Joe? said Carter. Joe groggily gets up “sure whatever, but could I go out and stretch my legs a little?” Agent Carter gets up, he proceeds to make his way to Joe’s right side, “Lift up your left arm Joe” he said. Joe does so and realized his left hand is handcuffed onto the bed. “Joe if the badges, and handcuffs weren’t clear enough you’re under arrest for— “WAR CRIMES” Agent Lauer screamed. “W-what!?” said Joe. Joe frantically “Am I being punked right now?” said Joe. Agent Carter proceeds to squeeze onto the IV drip inserted on Joe’s Arm “You mother fucker aaaaaaargh”. Said Joe.
Agent Lauer just kept on drinking from his flask not really caring about his surroundings. Agent carter let go of Joe’s arm. “About a year ago archaeologists from Belgium found wall paintings that date back to over 100,000 years ago”. Joe blinked hard as Agent Carter got up. He took out a file with photographs peeking up. Ge proceeded to take one out. “Notice anything?” Joe leaned forward face scrunched in pain and concentration. The photograph showed a man and a cavemen playing tennis on a Wii”. “Huh,” said Joe. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen a Wii!” Joe exclaimed. Agent carter shoves the photograph closer “That’s you in the picture Joe!” said Agent Carter. Joe squinted harder “Mmmm could be my ancestor?,” he said. “This guy has a unibrow after all!” Agent Carter sighs. Before he can say anything Agent Lauer snatches the file and pulls out another photograph. “This one!” said Lauer. “Ah yes, we retrieved this photograph in Germany. Agent Carter said. This is a photograph of you back in 1945 tea bagging Hitler’s corpse after the bastard took himself out.” Said Agent Carter. Joe turns his head sideways. “This is clear as day that you were there!” said Agent Carter. “No drawings that look resemble something my son would draw at kindergarten after snorting animal crackers!” He said. Joe laid back on his bed with an amused grin on his face. “Nah can’t be me.” Joe said. “This guy has a moustache.” He said. Agent Lauer giggles into his flask. Agent Carter does not seem amused as he grabs Joe by his collar. “Enough with these games!” said Agent Carter. “We know you’re a time traveller!” “You were missing for weeks in early 2007 back when the Wii was still a thing!” “You were also missing in 2010 back when 12 year olds were tea bagging on Halo and Call of Duty!” Agent Carter shouted. “You are not the first time traveler we have come across but you are the most deranged one so far! Said Agent Carter. Before Agent Carter could continue, Agent Lauer pulled out another Photograph. This time it’s of Joe shooting hoops with Kim Jong Ill and Dennis Rodman. “Oh yeeeeeaaaah”. Said Joe. “Now I remember.” He said. “I broke Kim’s ankles that day!” he said. Agent Carter takes a step back while Agent Lauer claps. “Yeah so uh I’m a time traveler that goes back into the past and kills assholes basically.” “Lincoln was such a dick. Couldn’t see the play over his large hat!” he said “Talk about over compensating am I right”. “Agent Carter pinches nose in disbelief. “Joe we got the Chinese and the UK after you.” said Agent Carter. “We got first dibs on you since we caught you but I’ve got to ask. He said. He takes out another photograph that shows Joe and the Queen of England fighting with Lightsabers. “How do you go from teabagging Hitler to decapitating the queen of England?” he said. Joe looks at Agent Lauer then back to Agent Carter and shrugs. “She called me a pussy.” Joe said.
Tristan Dupasquier hails from Hạ Long Bay, in northeast Vietnam. He hopes to one day start his own comic in Japan, or even start his own comic in Vietnam to compete with the Japanese market.