EX FILES Alan Berger I got a cat that’s dead I got a girlfriend instead Now I got a lumpier bed An abundant woman Short of brains and bread She had a song inside her No one could play She had a dragon inside her No one could slay If the games you played with her Did not not go her way She would pick up her marbles And call it a day The bills she sent me I would gladly pay After the tearful thanks I still could not get her to stay Sometimes you’re happy just to get what you can As I realized with her you’re in a foreign land Bereft of a passport In either hand She thinks she’s a fox Instead of the toilet She uses a litter box When she gets sick I take her to the Vet Every other day She throws away her cigarettes I appreciate the effort That she tries to replace my pet Her being a human Is my only regret I already know I never go with the flow A drastic situation with nowhere to go In my head town All roads lead down All my aims Turn into reservations All the motions That I file Become hesitations at the bottom of the pile Standing on the corner Ringing a bell The gutters and the sewers know me too well Ringing that bell till end of my time My love and charm turn on a dime Did you know I never reap what I sew? I thought so Letting it out When receiving the word Sounds like the confessions Of a Cuckoo bird Steady as a weathervane Forthright and uptight In the wind and rain It was a dark and stormy night Letting it known Wherever I am blown I inhabit a dead zone Have you ever had An original thought? Maybe a bright idea And I mean something anything well lit And if so What did ye do with it? Been in a million hard fistfights All of them in my soft head Not a lover nor a fighter That’s what she said May take on an imaginary friend One that would surely make me sing But the memory of the past Is usually better than the present real thing But then again and again Here is the thing Who ever knows? What the future may bring So stay far way, close, loose, and tight Anything is possible Anything can take flight Rock with the punches Roll with the knocks Where the fuck, did I put that litter box?
Alan Berger’s bio and picture copy from one of the older issues (Thanks)